Shared Secret
by Oddle
Summary: Even though neither of them showed it. They actually loved each other. Has the day finally come for one of them to make the first move?


**Shared Secret**

* * *

He had always loved her.

Ever since the day they both realized that 'he' was actually a 'she'.

He often dreamt about her and had flashbacks of their childhood. She was the only person that got to know the real him. The only girl that he met that wasn't a complete 'girlie' was her. He could be comfortable hugging her as they were kids but they could also fight and run around. His most fond memories always involved her and his childhood... But now, instead of feeling happy after realizing how he really felt about Elizaveta, he felt torn and depressed. He felt that way because now she hated him. She hated all about him and didn't even stand to look at a photo of him. She felt that way because of all the fights, all the cruel jokes, all the pranks and all the cruel comments he told her. He found himself regretting all of that from the bottom of his heart at times, but often ended up slapping himself and saying "stop being a wuss! You're too kickass awesome to be regretting anything!" Also, he had a reason for not running out to stop her, to take her back from Roderich, he was afraid. As much as despised himself for it, he was afraid of how she would react if he confessed. After all, he was a feared nation and according to them he had a huge ego, which was true, but he wasn't heartless; he wasn't made of stone.  
Day and night he sometimes found himself imagining a story in which he would confess to her and they'd live happily ever after. But he also found himself imagining what a possible rejection from her would be.  
At times he just didn't think it was worthy of trying. He thought that the pain would just be too much to take.  
After all, he claimed that he was too awesome to ever be married.  
He always did what he felt like doing, he made fun of everyone, humiliated everyone and said pretty much whatever he wanted to and to whoever he wanted to. But with Elizaveta it was different. With her he'd get that horrible fluffy feeling inside that tried to keep him from being rude to her. Though every single time he'd seen her so far he'd kept annoying her, trying to hide that fluffy feeling inside him. Sometimes she was one to hurt him, though. And he was scared of her as hell when she was angry. But her personality was just so different that he just ignored the fear and pain and only felt love towards her. A little masochistic at times...but he couldn't help it.

He slapped himself.  
"Dammit Gilbert! Stop being so un-awesome! You are happy alone and happy to be alone! You. Are. Awesome."  
He kept repeating those words to himself, trying to manipulate his own feelings...and so far...it was failing.

He looked at his face in the mirror. All the memories kept torturing his mind. He ran a hand to the back of his head and gave a sheepish grin.

"Well... I guess I might as well try...? If not I can always invade someone's vital regions and brag about how truly awesome I am."  
He got ready and left his home, heading to where he usually saw Elizaveta, hoping he'd find her there.

He knew that she was Roderich's ex-wife. He knew that after they divorced they had become boyfriend and girlfriend all over again. He knew that she hated him and loved Roderich instead. But a little glint of hope in his heart told him to "Fucking stop whining and be the totally awesome, kickass dude that you are! Get that fucking girl and start being awesome again! Now go, go, go, go!"

She despised him. Or so he thought...

* * *

She kept trying to convince herself that he hated her and that she hated him. That he was a selfish bastard who thought he was 'awesome' and nothing else. She told herself that Gilbert hated her and that it was the reason for why he annoyed her so much. She kept telling herself that Roderich was her true love. He was a kind man, caring and loving. But she found herself wishing for more. She missed all they play-fights from when she was a kid, missed all the troubles they got into together. A bit masochistic as well...but she couldn't help it either.

Sure she hated things about the past...but she loved the person with which she shared it. She couldn't knock the feeling out of her heart. It was as if the very words 'I love you, Gilbert.' were written upon her. Day and night she dreamed of being a damsel in distress, only to be rescued by a night in shunning armor, that ended up being Gilbert with that adorable little chick, Gilbird, on his head. She cursed at herself for holding such strong and unrequited feelings for so long. After all Gilbert hated her... Or so she thought.

She was down at her usual place, the forest in which Gilbert and her played as kids, the forest that knows her entire story. She picked a flower that was next to her and stared at it. Slowly slipping into another dream about how her life would be with Gilbert instead of Roderich. Sure he was a crazy egomaniac that thought he deserved everything and didn't seem to fear anything (as so she thought) at all but when they're were sweet moments, they were beautiful. She silently knew that deep (way deep) in his heart, somewhere (even if it's in a tiny little corner) he was a nice guy; or at least, a nicer one than how he portrays himself to be.  
She smiled at the fragile flower in her hand and sighed as she shifted her gaze to the sky. Today was not one of her normal days, considering how energetic she always felt. She just didn't feel like hitting people with her mighty frying pan today, didn't feel like doing much at all.

"Maybe I'm sick?" She asked herself.

But then she just brushed it off with a 'no' as she knew that even the best of warriors needed some quiet time to think. She closed her eyes and calmly drifted into her world of dreams.

As both of them were deep in thought, thinking about each other, they didn't notice their presence until it was a bit too late to form a plan.

* * *

"Uh...hi?"

"Hello?" she rubbed her sleepy eyes as she responded to the strange voice.

"Hi Elizaveta." he was happy that he found her but he was seriously smacking his brain for a plan.

"Gilbert..." her words were soft and in a low tone and a smile unconsciously graced her lips.

"So...uh.. I'm just gonna sit right there, I have something I've been wanting to tell you." he looked at the ground as he said it, trying to hide his blush. After all, he promised himself that he'd try to be nice and not brag that much about being awesome today. He wanted to tell her how he felt, not to end up with a frying pan that needed to be surgically removed from his face.

His little bird was watching everything from the safety of a tree branch. Even the bird knew that it wasn't wise to mess with Elizaveta.

"Alright... There's something I've been meaning to tell you as well." she felt her heart beat faster each moment, and each moment in which she had felt hatred was slowly vanishing from her heart, being replaced with a little bit of love each time.

"Right then...uh...you go first."

"No, you go first."

And with that, all those 'vanished' feelings were coming right back... Ah... Just like the good old days...

"You go first dammit!"

"You fucking go first!"

"I am clearly too awesome to go first if I don't want to."

"Well I won't go first since your being such an ass!"

"Fine then! I was only gonna say that I fucking love you but- ...shit I did not just say that."  
He froze in shock and thought something along the lines of: "Fuck, god take me now if you can! Argh I'm too awesome to have made that mistake! Argh!"

"Whoa whoa whoa... What did you just say...?"  
Had she just heard the words she always dreamt of hearing? Yes she did. But she wanted to hear them again, to feel that all those dreams weren't playing tricks on her mind.

"Nothing..." he quickly cocked his head to the left, avoiding her stare.

"Well if it makes it any better..." she trailed off as she fidgeted with her fingers.  
"I've always loved you too..." it was barely a whisper. Words that she hoped he didn't hear but at the same time wished he did.

He, in fact, did hear what she said. And didn't know wether to laugh or cry.  
Obviously he did the first one. His ego was too big to let himself lower to level of crying.

She just looked up at him and glared. How could he be laughing after she just slowly poured her heart out! She confessed to that idiot! And he just laughed! Bastard...

He looked at her in the eyes and slowly stopped laughing. Talk about an awkward moment.  
"Uh...yeah."

"Mhmm..."

"Well what now?" he hadn't planned the possibility of what he would do if she felt the same about him.

"Well...maybe this?" she said sweetly.

"Wha-" she cut him off. With a kiss. The horrible mess of fluffy feelings struck him, but this time he didn't really mind. It was what he had always dreamed of.

After a few seconds they separated. And Elizaveta, now blushing beet red, giggled a little as she looked at the ground in embarrassment.

Gilbert on the other hand, smirked and pulled her close by grabbing her waist. She just smiled and placed her head slowly on his shoulder, making him lower his head on top of hers.

They looked at the forest in front of them and then they closed their eyes. After a couple minutes of a comforting silence, she spoke.

"Hey, Gilbert."

"Hmm?"

"Maybe you really are awesome after all... But just maybe."

* * *

**A/N: Well... This is my very first Hetalia fanfic so I hope you liked it. Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks! ^_^**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Hetalia (even though I wish I did), but I do own the muffin I'm eating as I write this! :3**


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